Staying Positive with the looming of Depression

I am depressed. Yes, I did just type that. I am depressed about many different situations in my life currently plus seasonal depression that creeps in on my and decides that it is going to just stay in my brain until spring time.

I am in a constant battle with my brain daily. Knowing that you have a problem is step one in any situation. I am constantly trying to win back the blank stares out the windows, the endless quietness in my brain or the numbing feeling in my body when I decide it's time for me to check out. It brings me back to me after a few short minutes, but then the anxiety kicks in and the problems of not being good enough at life come back to being the fore runner in my brain.

Why am I posting a blog about being depressed and having anxiety? Well because it also controlling my weight, my eating is out of control and I am at the largest I've ever been. So once I see that, that brings back my anxiety.

I have depression and I want to tell it to go fuck off. So I am writing about it as well. Staying positive when the world is negative is hard. Sometimes where you work isn't the best place, sometimes that brings more negative than positive. Something has to bring you positive even if it is a small sliver, so I am finding my small slivers and making them giant boulders in my life.

So expect more from me coming up, expect me being healthier and better about my life. No matter how I feel inside I need positive. If you have a positive comment, PLEASE leave it!

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